I wish I had a friend like Chun is for Jae in SNAP by Mimei. (WARNING: it's NC-17 and it's kind of controversial so if you don't like it don't read, but it's good XP)

Soulmate

Who could do for me anything... and when I write anything I mean it. Even if it was sth dangerous, unmoral or stupid. Crying together, laughing together, drinking, dancing. hugging, kissing.. just anything and everything. Someone who'd have time for me always.. even in the middle of a night or when he should do sth different..  (and I'm still talking about FRIEND! no romantic feelings.. not bf/gf ^^')

But it's just a dream.. There's no friendship like this.. T_T

Emo mode on..     again..
welcome back >_>




I fell so lonely..

Maybe it's the weather.. autumn..
Maybe start of Uni which I hate so much T_T
Maybe that no one has time for me...
Maybe fics I've been reading these days
or maybe just my fucked up psychic >_>
even Dong Bang boys can't help even BooJae o_O




desperatly need HUG

Hug me BooJaelostscene lostscene  anyone

</lj>

I'm so happy ^^ Really.. It's been so long since I felt that way last time ^^

Yesterday I had so much fun with sabaku_no_lita and lostscene ^^ ILU <3 girls ^^ we were fangirling and laughing and even more fangirling and.. I dunno how could this happen but I was drunk after drinking only ONE drink (martini with vodka) It's so embarrassing T_T  maybe I was TOO HAPPY o_O So sorry girls once again ^^'  and sorry mors_chan for all those text messages ^^ ILU <3 You're angel being so patient XP

and now... prepare yourself for nosebleeds and fainting!

 
JaeJoong.. killed me.. and I'm sure not only me.. and not for the first time but anyway.. he's evil.. I wanna go to him *_________*

I want new album! NOW!</lj></lj> 5 more days..

I passed re-take exams XD YEY~! for me XP

Now I can fully enjoy SHINee and upcoming DBSK's album XD

Mirotic is *_* <3 I want more!
And JJ is half naked!  @_@ and Yunho O_O why he has to change so much.. he's hotter and hotter each day o_O
I already love their new stylist XP
O_O MOREEEEEEEEEE~!

I want to buy sth on YA T_T

To Jaejoong:

He is XD

and

I wish


It's so cute and lovely and don't woryy it's not related to DBSK or k-pop in any way so  please watch!

andthis one because it's funny XD

SHINee is ♥♥♥  The SHINee World is  ♥  I can't stop listening to them XD I was really surprised that they released such a good album o_O I wasn't expecting much.. I mean they're just another boysband, ne? But I was wrong XD very, very wrong.. And I'm even more sure of it after watching they're live performances.. It's amazing how they sing and dance that good when they're so young and debuted only few months ago O.O Impressive ^^ And I again love their choreography XD And they look better in those new hair XD

So far my fav are Key ♥  and Onew ♥ They're both very cute and charming XD And Onew's smile *_* 

I watched 1st ep. of their MNET SHINee Reality Show where they're having a date with noona XD It's so cute and lovely! I want to have a date with them too! I'm their noona so.. XD And I can smell some KeyMin XD

Pe2ny and Younha new albums are ♥ too XD

♥♥♥JaeJoong♥♥♥

(I just HAD to mention him XD) LOL

dio_elaclaire  thank you for yesterday's talk ^^ ILU ♥ and mors_chan  ♥ and lostscene ♥ and sabaku_no_lita ♥ and deed_li_yah ♥ ILU <3 all of you :*

I died and am in heaven XD

Watch this! Almost shirtless Jae XD He could take it off completely -_-'

How I wish I was there (SM Town 2008 Concert).. and see his abs

on my own eyes XD and Yunho's too XD They really worked out o_O All of them.. They have now nice biceps and triceps too XDXDXD If they're like this now.. I wonder what they prepare for their comeback XD

Love in the Ice in korean *_*

and LOL at Chun's hair XD

And THIS:

Seriously It should be not allowed to be that cute and hot *________*

I'm back from London ^^ Actually I came back 3 days ago but haven't been in a mood to write anything ^^' gomen. I've been in London for 5 weeks but it felt like 1 day o_O Time flew so fast!

Since the beginning I had bad luck! In plane I got flew and had been sick for week so I couldn't looking for a job with my sister and our friend or sightseeing T_T While I was lying in a bed they found their jobs and I was feeling even more depressed... 'Luckily' on Monday my sister called me and said that her boss had some work for me. I rushed there and without any interview they told me to wash dishes and do everything the boss ask me o_O They didn't even tell me how much hours a week I'll be working and how much will they pay me for that >_> I was angry and shocked but I didn't have a choice.. I felt pressured because my flatmates already had jobs and I was only one left.. So I did what I was told to... At the end of the day my boss told me that I'll be working from 8 am to 6 pm. 10 hours with only one 30 min break for lunch (at 3.30 pm)! And it was a really big sandwich bar on the one of the most busy streets... So I was dead tired and didn't have strength even to go to the internet cafe T_T My feet hurt so much I barely crawled to my room.. It was horrible.. Next days were no different beside that my boss told me to do even more.. I had to do drinks.. (put them in a refrigerator) and sometimes be a waitress and help with  making and delivering packets with lunch for some company >_> The f*** boss putted off the talk about money for few days.. and finally on Thursday  he told me that  I  can't have any day off  for first 2 weeks (and that bar was open from Monday to Sunday) and he 'll  give me 190-200₤ per week T_T It's not even 3₤ per hour T_T and he told me that there is one week deposit .  If I knew from the beginning how it would be I wouldn't agree.. but it was too late and I had to endure it... But on Tuesday (only after week of work) my hands were swollen awfully and they hurt and I could move my fingers without a pain T_T I tried to bear with it but I couldn't.. It was too much and I couldn't work .. so my boss told me to go home, and when I was going out from the bar he also told me: 'don't bother coming back' ! I was so scared and stressed and hurt and tired that I didn't fight for money which he didn't give me T_T I called my sister and she told me to calm down.. After1 hour she called me that her boss was actually my boss;s father o_O and he was totally pissed off and he yelled at him and told my sister to not worry and that he bring her my money (only 180₤ thou.. but that's still better than nothing) XD (My sister was luckier than me.. her coworkers were a lot a lot nicer to her and helped her and paid more) So I lost my job... But than this time my friend's boss had another bar where he needed someone so he proposed it to me XD It was very small bar far away from center (I had to went there by 2 tube lines and than by bus few stops which all lasted more than 1 hour >_>) but the atmosphere there was a lot nicer and calmer and I had to work there only from 9.30 am to 2 pm so I could take an english course in college XD but since it was only for few hours  a day and I didn't have much to do I got only 120₤ I'm still glad that I got this job.. who would employ me for only 2 weeks..

I alsko hate how London is hella expensive.. and that the wether totally sucks and makes you sleppy all the time and that the center is always crowded (tube in the mornings and late afternoons  >_<)  and people non-stop apologizing and thanking... blah..

But there were some things I liked XP
1. Parks... In London the parks are gorgeous! Big, green, pretty and clean. You can sit on the grass and forget of everything XD
2. A lot of asian boys XD
3. A lot of asian restaurants and shops XD I was in two different korean restaurants and could eat REAL KOREAN FOOD! You can imagine that I was extremely happy XD The food was delicious! I ate kimchi XD bulgogi XD bibimbap, pajan, jajangmyung (Goong S and Coffee Prince XD) and some others which names I can't remember ^^' and I drank soju! and some korean beer XD When I told my korean friend that soju was sweet and not that strong she looked at me weirdly and said that for her it's really strong and that she's drunk after 2 small glasses ^^' (it looks like polish people really have strong heads o_O lol)
3. English classes XD I met one korean (EunKi) and one japanese (Saori) girls XD They're cute and nice XD I hope well stay in contact :)

All in all it was definitely nice experience XP and I'm happy that I went there XD
I'll try to post some pictures when my sister came back with our camera (because she stayed there a little longer, because my parents told me to come back earlier since I have to retake some exams >_<)

Next entry will be fangirlish one XD

tagged by sabaku_no_lita

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your LJ along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Dong Bang Shin Ki - どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？(HQ version XD)
2. RURUTIA - Lost Butterfly
3. Super Junior H - 파자마 파티 (PAJAMA PARTY)
4. OLIVIA - Celestial Delinquent
5. Nell - 어떻게 생각해
6. Alex - 데이지
7. Battle - Big Change (feat.Deegie)

tagging: everyone who wants XD

oh.. and you don't have to put links for the songs :) I did because I wanted ^^ hope you'll enjoy :)

Meme taken from sabaku_no_lita ^^ It'd be nice if you could fill it ^^ even if you don't like it..
copy the text below,paste it to your comment and answer these questions

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Where do you live:
4: What are you studying/What are you working as:
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A song:
4: A band:

FANDOM
1. Favorite Fandom:
2. OTP/OT3:
3. Icon/Fic Journal (so I can join):

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you?

Now I have it too many to keep it in my profile XP


( under the cut ^^ )</center>


Eventhough we're separated from the ☆rainbow☆
that ties us both together, say I love you
G-Dragon's voice is my rainbow
I'd cross the sky just to reach it

[Park Yoochun] was ★GAY until he met me.


Do you remember that night, ♥Park Yoochun♥ ?
The s t a r s filled the beautiful night sky
then you looked into my eyes and said,
" You're my shooting star, my only love.♥ "

彡 If I had a RoSe for ｡o○Kim Junsu○o｡ every time I think of HiM
I would walk in my GARDEN FoReVeR ミ

彡 If I had a RoSe for ｡o○Tegoshi Yuya○o｡ every time I think of HiM
I would walk in my GARDEN FoReVeR ミ</div></div>

I'm totally upset now T__________T Today my Korean friend called me and told that she can't buy me what I asked her.. All About DBSK 2 and Bonjour Paris PB T_T She doesn't know when she'll come to Poland. I feel cheated.. If someone asked me to buy sth I would do that the soonest I could and put it back and give it to that person when I'll be able to.. but she didn't. It's unfair.. and maybe saying that I'm unfair too.. but I can't help being angry and sad. If she didn't want/can fulfill my request she could've told me sooner.. when I could buy it elsewhere... I know it's not worth being depressed but I really wanted that stuff badly T_T Buuuuuuuu

OMG.. I'm totally loving Dong Bang Shin Ki - どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？ XD It's so beautiful and they sound so different and I like it even more *_* And the title is so loooong true... It means 'Why did I fall in love with you'. And Jae sings the way I love the most XD If the second track will be as addictive as this one I'll definitely buy that single... even if I normally don't XP

edit:
The translation for the song came surprisingly fast o_O And the lyrics are so touching T_T It makes me cry even more...

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
But you've already chosen a different path

Why couldn't I call out to you at all?
Every day and night growing emotions
And words overflow
But I realized that
They'd never reach you again

Since that day I first met you
I felt like I already knew you
You and I melded into each other so smoothly

It was natural for me to be where you were
The two of us grew up together
But you've already chosen a different path

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
Now we can't turn back

The special meaning held by this day
Today you stood with a happy expression
You looked beautiful while praying to god

But I wasn't the one next to you
And the image of you receiving blessings
Of that how could I let go?

Why did I end up falling for you?
How we were before
We can't return to it anymore (I've thought it through, thought it through)

Why didn't I hold on to your hand?
No matter how much time has passed
You should've always been by my side (never changing)

But still, even if I'm nowhere near you anymore
I'm praying that you
May be happy for eternity
No matter how much that would make me lonely (no matter how lonely)

(In case some people still didn't get what was going on... x;)

It's basically a story about two childhood friends who shared a strong bond. In the course of growing up, the boy doesn't realize that the girl has started to move away from him, when he does, it's too late and they've already parted ways. The boy has a hard time accepting this, but later on he realizes that all is lost and he'd never be able to get together with his friend again. So he asks himself (her, but rhetorically, I reckon) why he ever fell for her in the first place. He has a few regrets of his own, but in the end he wishes her true happiness, even if it won't ever be with him. *sigh* *is shot*

this song might actually be taking place on the girl's WEDDING day. Since the day's got a "special meaning", and she's receiving blessings, so probably she's at the church, standing with her husband... The boy has to let go of her now. ;_;

Credits: syabondama of egloos for Japanese and Korean lyrics of "どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう" + system_chaos/(Krissy) for translating

system_chaos PLEASE ASK PERMISSION FROM KRISSY FIRST IF YOU DECIDE TO REPOST HER WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE. OR TRANSLATE THE SONG INTO ANOTHER LANGUAGE USING HER VERSION.'

Now I wonder what the MV will be like...

I just made a new profile XD Nothing special.. but I like it better than the previous one anyway XP ayako_in_love 

Yesterday, I ate with my sister, magdamiss  and koyakas  sushi XD It was so delicious *_* We ate too much and spent too much money on it ^^' But once in a longwhile we can pleasure ourselves ne? Thanks girls for wonderful time! chuu~!

I just found out that KiHyunnie left Battle T_T He prefers to act in dramas :( It won't be the same without him T_T He's not my fav member but still.. He's cute and he looks like 'L' XD Mroook LOL

New SM's boysband SHINee is so adorable and cute XD I love their '누난 너무 예뻐 (Replay)' song (remix is even better o_O) XD and MV is very nice too :) Their style is similar to Big Bang but I don't mind at all ^^' It's kind of a mixture of DBSK and BB ^^ Kyaa~! Why they're so young? They're 14-18 years old. I know that even DBSK debuted in similar age :) Anyway  I feel so old.. and I'm a pervert now T_T (again.. after GD turned into legal age XP). But they're so adorable, that I can't help :) Full single is not as good as the title track but anyway they're worth trying ^^

It's them:

(click to see it bigger)

I was really surprised by the news that SM is releasing another new group o_O I haven't heard anything about it till yesterday o_O (but I wasn't paying attention earlier either ^^').

It's random but I really can't wait for new DBSK's album.. I'm so curious how they change XD

BTW.. Few weeks ago there was a post in dbsg comm about perfumes Dong Bang boys wear XD And being such a fangir I immediately went to SEPHORA and found few of those scent (I fail on finding Marc Jacobs (Yunho) and Bvlgari Black (Yoochun) and Petits et Mamans (Junsu XD LOL) T_T). L'Eau Par Kenzo (Changmin) like my sister XD It's a nice fragrance :) And CK be (Jaejoong) are pretty XD I really like them ^^' It's kinda embarrassing saying that but I smell it everyday before going to sleep and right after waking up ^^' I wanna know how it smells on Jaejoong... LOL And I don't really care if this is true or not XP

Oh and as you can see I feel much better now, after previous emopost ^^ 

OMG.. It's been so long since my last post that now I don't know how to start.. and it feels odd o_O

Maybe I start from saying that I'm sorry for disappearing suddenly and that I missed you guys so much (^o^#).

I feel like crying... I'm in that emo mood for few days already.. and I can't change it. I think listening to Nell actually doesn't help or even makes it worse o_O But I can't stop to play their songs in my mp3 player. Kim Jongwan's voice makes me shiver and I can't think strait.. I just space-out and lost myself in this music. I'm addicted now T_T I even ordered 'Healing Process' and 'Separation Anxiety' in YesAsia yesterday ^^' It's too much ♥ And I adore emo songs.. you know it, ne? Some of the songs seem to me so sad even if they're not.. I don't understand korean so I have no idea what they're songs are about T_T

I'm so depressed that it's painful.. I just need someone... so much need... uh..

For the last 3 days I was reading 'Pandora Box' fanfic by outlandishhh (friends-locked). And it's amazing story (I don't like JaeHo but I like reading fics about them o_O). I love it! It's very very sad and in some moments sick but in some others very sweet and beautiful and because of this mixture I felt different and very strong emotions. I even cried.. Thank you sweetie :*
And this story also made me think about my life and love. And I think that I don't believe in love.. It's weird but I can't imagine myself loving someone and being loved.. it's so unrealistic. I even don't know what real love is o_O Of course I had crushes... some serious but was/is it real love? I'd like to experience love.. to be loved must be the most wonderful feeling... but I don't know if I could trust someone.. If I'd be able to believe in other person.. Am I even worth being loved and cared about? Eh... Sorry. Forget it.. In a few days I should change my mind ^^' It happens from time to time so.. nevermind XP

Is it weird that I love and hate being all emo at the same time?

'JaeJoong!' ♥♥♥  I must be annoying in my sister's eyes when I shout his name all the time.. so random ^^ Did you also noticed that Jae started working out again? Is it only me or his biceps are really much bigger? XD ILU my Boo :* and his outfit in Hollywood Bowl (*O*). Maybe it's for new korean album's concept? And I'm extremely happy that Yunho finally changed his hair.. It was bothering me.. really. He looks much more manly now XD And Su too!

And sorry for my english but after such a big break I have more difficulties...

Joongie and Chunnie are both evils >_< for writing such depressing song.. Kissしたまま、さよなら makes me all emo T_T I don't want to listen to it and I shouldn't but I can't stop myself from putting it on repeat :/ blah.. It's too beautiful.. It's very simple and pure and the piano melody (Joongie ♥) emphasis their vocals. It's perfect. XD Chun's voice falters in intro makes me crying.. It's so touching and full of emotions. It's the saddest and most emotional ballad I've heard so far. Really.
I can almost see JJ and Chun crying while writing it ^^' *pouts*
and I'm so proud of them XD
waiting for more JJ's work

OMG OMG OMG 'DARKNESS EYES'  It's another very very addicting song ^^ It has totally different feel.. It's sexy XD and piano again XD andtheir voices.. *_*

It's the best album! And they changed so much o_O but for the better XP

I want my copy to be here.. NOW! (but I have to wait till half Feb T_T) I bought 2CD+2DVD (Special Limited Edition) (Korean Version) from YA T_T You can kill me but I can't afford to buy Jap from cdjapan T_T But on the happier note I bought Junsu's and JaeJoong's solo single (TRICK) from cdjapan XD so at least this will count to the Oricon XD hahaha

*my wallet is poor now T_T*


CONGRATULATION DBSK for reaching #1 on the Weekly Oricon Charts!!! XD

I wanted to post it a long time ago but didn't XP I just do it now XD It's year horoscope for Taurus by Penny Thornton (she was making horoscopes for Princess Diana) and you know, I think it may be true.. Some of these predictions may really happen and recently I was thinking about many things she mentioned such as far journey ^^' So let's see at the end of this year if it's accurate XD

	( Taurus 2008 )

DBSK Fandom:
I heard all of the new songs (beside Kissしたまま、さよなら which may be japanese version od Insa of which I'm scared.. I just have a feeling that it won't do :/) from 'T' and I can say that it's their best album so far (japanese) XD I almost all of the tracks!

Preview for Purple Line PV is OMG! sexyhotawesomegeorgous and I don't know what else XD I missed songs like 'Rising sun' and 'O' with hot dance! Today it'll be broadcast again and I hope that this time it'll be full version  ^^ I wanna see Chunnie saying 'really wanna touch myself'!!

Avex is really really smart with 'TRICK' ^^' 
New single release from Dong Bang Shin Ki features the lead-in track "Trick" from the group's January 23, 2008 album. It turns out the album version is actually a combination of five different tracks, so now it's time to release each of those tracks in the full-length single format and available in five varieties with each version featuring a different member on vocals!
Also includes B-side member solo song. -- CDJapan

Sorry for my previous entry ^^' I felt extremely awful..and sick and tired and I didn't really know what I'm writing o_O
Sometimes I just have to complain even about something senseless...

Today I feel better xD
Mati visited me at work XD his classes were canceled and he didn't know what to do with himself so he came to me ^^ he's a good friend ^^ I can talk with him about everything and I think his one of the only few who knows me well XD We talked about our high-school classmates... he sometimes talk with them and I don't so he likes to pass on news about them to me xP

Totally random but:
I love my daddy! I think he's the most important person in my life and I want him to be proud of me and understand me .. but he doesn't. Anyway sometimes I want to tell him that.. but I just can't. It seems to me so awkward to say these simple words: "Daddy, I love you" Maybe it's like that because my father isn't very effusive and can't express his feeling well himself. I'm so much like my father in many aspects. I mean character not looks XP haha

I'm still addicted to the preview of DBSK - Purple Line. (added link XD) 11 days to it's release so I think the PV should appear soon ^^ really can't wait XO

Why JaeJoong is so pretty?